the most succinct explanation of why some lesbians use they/them or he/him pronouns is that pronouns are very much like names, in that they are culturally established signifiers we use to refer to someone else, and almost always those signifiers are gendered.
You’ll see a lot of lesbians start to go by androgynous or masculine names (or nicknames) to feel more comfortable. Sam, Pat, Chris, Jay, Moe, etc. are all really common chosen names among lesbians for that reason.
I also knew an older butch– my parents’ age– who went by Otter (& her femme partner went by Kitty) because they decided to just depart from standard names entirely– and I see younger lesbians using neo-pronouns in very similar ways for very similar reasons.
A lesbian who was raised with the name Christina and the pronouns she/her/hers deciding he’s more comfortable with the name Chris and he/him/his pronouns to reflect his complex relationship to womanhood is not a huge confusing leap, it’s pretty normal depending on what circles you’re in.
Gender is complex, and gender nonconforming lesbians, butches, and femmes have often navigated gender on their own terms to find ways of being comfortable in their bodies, relationships, and lives.
